antgoo

6 of 10 stars

I saw Miami Vice on Saturday night, and I’m just now getting around to reviewing it. Two conclusions can be drawn:

1. That I am lazy and didn’t feel like doing it.
2. The movie was pretty “blah” and didn’t move me to enough to care.

Those of you who are paying attention will notice that in spite of the fact that I just said this movie was “blah”, I gave it 8 stars on my quick reviews at the bottom of this blog. Give me a moment to justify my actions.

plot and characters

Prospective viewers of this film looking for an enthralling plot with deeply developed characters and interesting dialogue will be sorely disappointed. This is a film about fluff without the substance. Basically, the plot is your generic undercover drug thriller. Things blow up, guns get fired, cars go fast and people have sex. Lots and lots of sex. Nothing unpredictable happens in this film. The double crosses happen where you expect them to, the characters say what you expect them to say.

Jamie Foxx and Colin Farrell, as Det. Tubbs and Crocket, do pretty good jobs of being run of the mill undercover cops who get in too deep. They’re both tough guys who blah blah blah. Who cares right? As characters, they are as unmemorable as any of the dozens of other cop teams. Speaking of teams, they don’t have a very good dynamic onscreen together. You get the feeling that they just work together, not that they’re partners who have to entrust their lives to each other.

But then again, none of the characters in this film were memorable. Actually, the more I think about it, the less I like this movie.

collateral 2?

When you really get down to it, this movie feels like a lame sequel to 2004’s Collateral. The visual style is the same. The director (Michael Mann) is the same. Jamie Foxx is there, albeit as a different character. Like all big budget sequels, this movie has more action, more Hollywood, and less substance. But alas, this isn’t a sequel to Collateral. It’s a film adaptation of a cheesy 80s TV show. The only thing that carried over from the show was the location, the names and the shallowness.

glitz and glamour

This brings us to the reason why I didn’t give this movie 1 star and move on with my life. As I said earlier, this is not a movie of substance. You won’t care about these characters like you cared for the characters in Traffic or even Lethal Weapon for that matter. This is a movie about appearances.

Every car in this film is a supercar, BMW 6 Series, Ferrarris, DUB Edition Chargers. Every boat is a speedboat. Every article of clothing is tailored by a designer. There are no Ford Escorts or white teeshirts in the version of Miami presented here. This movie doesn’t make you think, it actually shuts your brain off for you while you’re watching it. You don’t care about the overcooked dialogue when you’re looking at the beautiful imagery. The movie does a good job of enveloping you in the oppulence of the lifestyle these flat characters are supposed to live.

And you kinda buy the whole think, hook line and sinker. You question how a detective for Miami-Dade Police Department can afford a Ferrarri, but you don’t dwell on it. When you walk out of the theatre, you kinda feel like you’ve been mildly entertained. You smile and laugh and talk about the good parts with your friends. Then you realize all the good parts are props.

conclusion

Most people don’t spend hours after a movie thinking about it. They are the lucky ones. They see a movie and accept it at face value. Most people who go to see Miami Vice won’t be looking for emotional depth or 3-dimensional characters. They’ll just want to see things blow up… and they won’t be disappointed.

Those who dig deeper will be disappointed to find that there’s nothing beneath the surface. I don’t think I’ll ever see this movie again, it’s that disposable. For this reason, I give Miami Vice 6 of 10.