antgoo

I’m sure that I’m not the only one who’s found himself wondering why things are never as simple as they should be. Either this thought is a common occurrence, or I have the absolute worst relationship luck.

A while ago, I was writing about my ongoing search for female companionship. Well, the search is still very much in progress. I’ve come close to finding what I was looking for a few times, but “almost” only counts with horseshoes and hand grenades.

finding the fit

I’ve, more specifically, concerned myself with finding “my fit”. Instead of trying to force some arbitrary ideal of what I need, I’ve been looking for the woman who was custom designed for me. I’ve been looking for someone who shares my interests, understands my sense of humor and compliments my mannerisms. The woman I’m looking for will just fit into my life and enhance it like a puzzle piece.

It’s not so that I’m incomplete and need someone to fill a hole in my life. I’d like to think that I’m pretty well adjusted. But I believe that even a complete person requires companionship and that couples are to enhance each others’ life, not complete it.

As I’ve said, I’ve come close to finding my fit a few times in my life. Tragically, there’s always something missing from the package.

so close… yet

There was once a time when I didn’t know what I was looking for in a girl; but as I grow older and gain a better understanding of who I am, it’s easier for me to know that there are certain things that I’m looking for in a woman. Unfortunately, knowing isn’t the end. Now the problem is finding someone to meet the criteria.

It’s not hard to find someone with some or even most of the requirements. The hardest point is finding someone who meets all of them. The hardest part is finding someone you don’t have to compromise for. No one should have to compromise what they want just for the sake of having someone in their lives. The issue with compromise, as I’ve learned from past relationships, is that you’ll always find yourself thinking “what if” and you’ll never really be happy for that reason.

The women I find are always either on the other side of the state, emotionally unavailable, or there’s some other complication that keeps things less than perfect. And it’s always just ONE thing… I’m always just close enough to finding the one that it’s frustrating. I find myself asking why things are never as simple as they should be. It’s never as simple as boy meets girl and they live happily ever after, etc.

getting warmer…

I’m feeling like I’m close, though. So very close. I thought I might have found her recently. I really wanted it to be her… honestly, I still want it to be her. But things are (as always) more complicated than they should be. But then again, what do you expect?

The challenge now is to not be discouraged or disappointed. One of my favorite sayings is that “anything worth having is worth working for.” I say that a lot, because it’s very true and very relevant to my life. As much as I’d like the search for my fit to be an easy one, it’s not. But I’ve come this far in the search… so I’ll keep looking.